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Big Mama's House Podcast
Three easy tech tips for digital parenting during Coronavirus
Season 1, Ep. 1
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Resources -
- If you’re a member of the Big Mama’s House Fan Club, go to the channel to download the PDF Cheat Sheet specifically for this episode which includes: a checklist, full transcript, sources, and more
- To learn more about Internet Safety, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download resources and more.
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Sources
Student survey responses data
- Weinberger, Jesse “Internet Safety & Digital Parenting: Your kids want you to say ‘no’ – to them AND to yourself. I have proof” OvernightGeekUniversity.com (2018)
Routine and well-being
- Read more about Donald Winnicott, psychoanalyst with some excellent advice for parents. “The road to a better society begins in the nursery.”
- (Kaufman Citation) - Williams, Alice. “By Age 7 the Foundations for Your Child's Adult Brain Are Pretty Much Set.” NewsComAu, News.com.au, 29 Oct. 2016
- Larsen, Kristy L., "Organized Chaos: Daily Routines as a Potential Mechanism Linking Household Chaos and Child Behavior Problems" (2019). Master's Theses. 627.
- Fiese, Barbara H., et al. “A Review of 50 Years of Research on Naturally Occurring Family Routines and Rituals: Cause for Celebration?”Journal of Family Psychology, vol. 16, no. 4, 2002, pp. 381–390., doi:10.1037/0893-3200.16.4.381.
Adolescents and sleep
- Weinberger, Jesse The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket, 2nd ed.OvernightGeek, 2019
- Telzer, Eva H., Andrew J. Fuligni, Matthew D. Lieberman, and Adriana Galvan, “The effects of poor quality sleep on brain function and risk taking in adolescence.” NeuroImage 71 (2013): 275-283.
- Meldrum, Ryan.C, J.C. Barnes, and Carter Hay. “Sleep Deprivation, Low Self-Control, and Delinquency: A Test of the Strength Model of Self-Control.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 44.2 (2013): 465-77.
- Tarokh, Leila, Jared M. Saletin, and Mary A. Carskadon. “Sleep in adolescence: Physiology, cognition and mental health.” Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews 70 (2016): 182-88.
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Episode Highlights
- 00:57 Why two episodes this week?
- 01:34 Stopping the bleeding – aka parental triage
- 03:07 Humans need structure
- 05:09 Why children in particular require structure, daily routines, and ritual
- 07:05 Why limits matter
- 07:36 What 1,040 students want parents to know about tech use
- 09:00 What all effective digital parenting strategies and tips have in common
- 10:50 Tip 1: Parent Heal Thyself
- 13:00 Tip 2: Geographic Restriction
- 14:10 Tip 3: Drop Dead Device Deadline
- 15:16 Verizon Smart Family App – as an example
- 16:19 Setting limits on gaming time
- 17:56 Poor sleep= damage to adolescents
More episodes
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2. Pings, Games, & Princess Frosty Face
30:19||Season 2, Ep. 2What can we ALL do to reduce device time? (Parents too!) Strategies to reduce phone pickups via using Do Not Disturb and using gamification (kids v parents) to see who can use their devices for the least amount of time. We also debate the usefulness of Apple Watches (Big Mama is NOT convinced).Co-host: Big Mama's cousin GeorgeHow to reduce phone pickupsStupid trivia activity usage statsApple Watch - yes or noHow George's children became vicious CandyLand players. What's up, Princess Frosty Face?Create a competition between kids and parents on device usage (spoiler alert - kids will probably win)Board games George and his family loveWhy just the term Do Not Disturb triggers anxiety & marital strife in George's houseWhy Big Mama isn't a fan of Apple WatchesWhy parents shouldn't be texting kids during the school dayKids are already under immense pressure - added pings and notifications make life more dramatic and complicatedUsing dumb/flip phones as a partial solutionGeorge catches himself getting distracted by the SILENCE coming from his phone.Getting stuck in a reward loopPutting your phone, in a different roomLinks to products mentioned:BOARD GAME: WingspanBOARD GAME: Ticket to RideBOARD GAME: Hues & Cues1. 496 Pickups aka Parents Overusing Devices
22:29||Season 2, Ep. 1If you're sick of getting yelled at about your phone use, but your parents are doing the same things, this episode will give you some strategies in how you can confront your parents (in a good way) about your THEIR device overuse. Also: download the Teen Family Contract to give to your parents.Co-host: Big Mama's cousin George We know that most adults are just as addicted to their devices as their children. The rule at the dinner table is no phones - but somehow dad or mom have theirs because they're "working." The idea that only kids are making mistakes with technology is absurd. George reveals his 3.5 day usage on his phone showed that he "picked-up" his phone 469 times. Why? His son, Luke, confronted him about his device usage in a way that stopped George in his tracks and made him more aware of his phone usage.Download:Big Mama put together a family contract written from a teen's perspective which kids can use to confront their parents in a positive way. It includes items like: I can't pause a live game, and please ask me before posting pictures of me on your social media. You can download the teen family contract here.Pilot: Moist dudes in basements & parents who don't pay attention
09:13||Season 2, Ep. 0A new season, a new beginning. Too many parents either don't engage or don't believe that their teens (and elementary school kids) are suffering. That’s why Season 2 of my podcast, and all future seasons will be focused directly to the students - to teenagers. If we’re going to make even the slightest dent in digital safety we need help from a population who doesn’t need to be “convinced” that there’s a problem in the first place. Kids - make your parents listen to this episode. Here's what they'll hear: Your children want YOU, they want you to spend more time with them. Your children want for you to SEE them, to care about what’s going on in their lives. They want you to use YOUR phone less, to listen when they’re trying to talk to you.They want you to STOP posting about THEM on your social media. They want you to STOP asking them to pause a LIVE GAME They’ll do almost anything to avoid “getting in trouble” including giving in to an online predator’s threats. They want you to know that they’re under immense mental health pressure. They want to stop being used as the world’s scapegoat - the nonsensical idea that kids are the only ones struggling with device usage. As if parents aren’t just as addicted - because they are. And as always - Be careful and avoid moist dudes in basements9. Education during COVID: Is Zoom Safe for Kids and Schools? - FANS ONLY
41:42||Season 1, Ep. 98. TRUE CRIME: How online teen love turned into a quadruple homicide
39:09||Season 1, Ep. 8Show: Web of Lies Network: Investigation DiscoverySeason 1: Episode 6 Farmville HorrorPremiered 2/12/2014https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/tv-shows/web-of-lies/full-episodes/farmville-horrorBay Area suspect allegedly bludgeoned victimshttps://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Bay-Area-suspect-allegedly-bludgeoned-victims-3217121.phpQuadruple-murder suspect’s sister has received death threats over Virginia slayingshttps://www.mercurynews.com/2009/09/25/quadruple-murder-suspects-sister-has-received-death-threats-over-virginia-slayings/ UPDATE: Details emerge about weapons used in Farmville killingswww2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/young_calif._man_indicted_for_farmville_killings/303376/P0/ Services held for Farmville slaying victimshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM041_20091003-222407/297346/Services held for slain Longwood professorhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/article/FARMGAT03_20091003-164201/297261/Father made futile trip in search for slain daughterhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM30_20090929-222402/296385/The unfolding of a cruel crime in Farmville, and a strange onehttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM27_20090926-221606/295789/A timeline of the Farmville killingshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM27G1_20090926-195801/295730/Farmville suspect told of confrontation, cab driver sayshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM26_20090925-222606/295597/Slain W.Va. teenager mourned at servicehttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM26S1_20090925-222201/295585/Suspect told cabbie he confronted girlfriendhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/suspect_told_cabbie_he_confronted_girlfriend_over_text_message/295462/Rapper, suspect's mother provide slayings case detailshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM251_20090924-232001/295416/Slain pastor remembered as gifted and compassionatehttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM251S1_20090924-233803/295422/Services for Farmville slaying victims begin todayhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARMGAT24_20090924-062601/295167/Graveside service scheduled today for slain pastorhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM24S1_20090923-221002/295108/Gruesome music genre becomes subject of scrutinyhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM24_20090923-222604/295120/Police tell of encounters with Farmville suspecthttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM231_20090922-233601/294871/Teen victims were drawn to macabre musichttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/site_elements/tags/tag/farmville+killings/Farmville victims died from blunt force traumahttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/farmville_victims_died_from_head_injuries/294667/Suspect's sister expresses remorse in Farmville slayingshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM221_20090921-235202/294638/Excerpts: Farmville suspect's sister writeshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM22S_20090921-222608/294591/Calif. police raid home of quadruple murder suspecthttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/hearing_for_man_accused_in_farmville_slayings_to_be_held_by_video_conferenc/294463/Appomattox church fondly recalls slain pastorhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM21S1_20090920-223603/294428/Police look at role lyrics may have had in slayingshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM21_20090920-223409/294416/Longwood professor ‘loved her work'https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/article/FARM20S1_20090919-222405/294216/Suspect may have been in contact via Internet with professor's daughterhttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM20S2_20090919-222603/294224/Suspect arrested in four Farmville slayingshttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/article/FARMUP_20090919-234403/294271/Quadruple slaying suspect arrested at Richmond airporthttps://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/four_bodies_found_in_farmville_home/294109/7. Kids, Mental Health, & Devices : increased device time equals diminished mental health
31:37||Season 1, Ep. 7Liner NotesHow the pandemic has disrupted our routines, and how the lack of routine impacts children. Listen to episode #1….Jean Twenge websiteMonitoring the Future Survey – websiteThe UnLonely Project - websiteAdam Leventhal – psychologist at USCTo learn more about Internet Safety, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download resources and more. To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse------------------------------------------------------------Episode HighlightsHow the pandemic has impacted time managementLessons learned from the stay at home orderWe are all expendableTime is the only constant in lifeTime is the only currency that mattersAllocating our “time expenses”Dunkin Donuts coffee versus Starbucks coffeeIncreased content consumption because of the pandemicIncreased device time because of the pandemicWhy I can’t watch national morning shows anymoreHow news delivery had changed our tolerance for factsThe impact of device time on young brainsChildren born between 1995 and 2012 are the loneliest people on the planetHow loneliness can shorten your life spanRising rates of depression among childrenSocial media use increases rates of depression and anxietyScreen time is linked to diminished mental healthReading on PAPER improves mental health outcomes and improves development and health of physical structures in the brainHow device use impacts sleep among teensImpact of device time on the brain development of preschoolersImpact of device time on long-term development of 8 to 12 year oldsHow smartphone use among adolescents may trigger ADHD like symptoms and changes the brainHow screen-based activities make teens less happyThe Unlonely Project and using creative pursuits and bibliotherapy to improve mental healthTips and tricks for parents to improve the mental health of their childrenTips and tricks for educators to improve the mental health of their student------------------------------------------------------------SourcesHorowitz-Kraus, Tzipi, and John S. Hutton. “Brain Connectivity in Children Is Increased by the Time They Spend Reading Books and Decreased by the Length of Exposure to Screen-Based Media.” Acta Paediatrica, vol. 107, no. 4, 2017, pp. 685–693., doi:10.1111/apa.14176.Hutton, John S., et al. “Associations Between Screen-Based Media Use and Brain White Matter Integrity in Preschool-Aged Children.” JAMA Pediatrics, vol. 174, no. 1, 2020, doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2019.3869.Leventhal, Adam M., “Digital Media Use and ADHD Symptoms” JAMA. 2018 12 25; 320(24):2599-2600.Meldrum, Ryan.C, J.C. Barnes, and Carter Hay. “Sleep Deprivation, Low Self-Control, and Delinquency: A Test of the Strength Model of Self-Control.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 44.2 (2013): 465-77.Ryan, Richard M., Deci, Edward L. “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being,” American Psychologist, January 2000. Schrobsdorff, Susanna. “Anxiety, depression, and the modern adolescent.” Time, November 7, 2016. Tarokh, Leila, Jared M. Saletin, and Mary A. Carskadon. “Sleep in adolescence: Physiology, cognition and mental health.” Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews 70 (2016): 182-88.Telzer, Eva H., Andrew J. Fuligni, Matthew D. Lieberman, and Adriana Galvan, “The effects of poor quality sleep on brain function and risk taking in adolescence.” NeuroImage 71 (2013): 275-283.Twenge, Jean M. IGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood: and What That Means for the Rest of Us. Atria Paperback, 2018.Weinberger, Jesse The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket, 2nd ed.OvernightGeek, 20196. Part Two: When Schools Overshare - A Principal's Perspective
39:18||Season 1, Ep. 6Just for members of the Big Mama's House Fan Club. Use this link to download the three page cheat sheet made specifically for this episode - including minute-by-minute breakdown of the episode as well as internet safety tips and tricks checklists for both parents and schools. Episode HighlightsThe impact of the pandemic on schools and educatorsHow schools are accidentally putting children at risk via social mediaBest practices for schools using Facebook and TwitterMental health impact of the pandemic on studentsTips for helping children with their anxietyTwo resources available online related to children, mental health, and the pandemicHow hashtags on school-based social media posts can put children at riskLink between device time and diminished mental healthBOOK: iGen by Jean TwengeBOOK: The Talent Code by Daniel CoyleConnection between device use and neuroplasticity and tech addiction. SOURCESBerinato, Scott. “That Discomfort You're Feeling Is Grief.” Harvard Business Review, 16 Apr. 2020, hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief. Coyle, Daniel. The Talent Code Greatness Isn't Born. It's Grown. Arrow, 2010. Julian, Story by Kate. “What Happened to American Childhood?” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 27 Apr. 2020, www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/05/childhood-in-an-anxious-age/609079/. Twenge, Jean M. IGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood: and What That Means for the Rest of Us. Atria Paperback, 2018. REFERENCESFacebook Rant – mentioned in the episodeVideo morning announcements- mentioned in the episodeCOPPA Law – learn more about the FTC’s COPPA law hereCIPA Law – learn more about the FCC’s CIPA law here To learn more about this Internet Safety Podcast, internet safety and parenting, and more, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download school resources, parent resources, and more. To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse5. Part One: When Schools Overshare – COPPA Law and Your Child’s Privacy
41:18||Season 1, Ep. 5Episode HighlightsIn an effort to increase student and community engagement, schools may accidentally be putting student’s privacy and data at risk when using social media and livestreaming apps. In this internet safety podcast you will hear the hardest part of travelling all over the US to work as an Internet Safety Speaker for schoolswhy Big Mama thinks that Guidance Counselors are the unsung heroes of all K-12 buildingswhy you’re a chump if you buy $100 yoga pantsthe reality of what’s happening in schools across this countryan ode to educators everywherehow COPPA and CIPA laws are being accidentally disregardedhow your children are being put at risk as a resultan interview with the amazing Amanda Clapp, Esq – in-house counsel at Neola.com – a firm which specializes in helping navigate, write, and maintain legal school policy for over 1500 school districts in 6 statesBig Mama cries like a giant dork (13:17) Mentioned in the episodeAmanda Clapp, EsqIn-house Counsel Neola.com - - a firm which specializes in helping schools navigate legal policy for over 1,500 school districts in 6 states. NEOLA- 3914 Clock Pointe Trail, Suite 103 - Stow, OH 44224Phone: (330) 926-0514www.neola.com Facebook Rant – mentioned in the episodeVideo morning announcements - mentioned in the episode ReferencesCOPPA Law – learn more about the FTC’s COPPA law hereCIPA Law – learn more about the FCC’s CIPA law here To learn more about this Internet Safety Podcast, internet safety and parenting, and more, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download school resources, parent resources, and more.To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse4. Season 1 : Bonus Episode 1: TRUE CRIME - 13yo Virginia girl murdered by a college student she met online
28:16||Season 1, Ep. 4EPISODE SUMMARYIn 2016 a 13 year old girl from Virginia thought that the older boy, a college student she met online, who attended a well-respected university, was her boyfriend. They first chatted for months on social media including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and the now shut down Kik. They met in person only twice, and she never came home from their second date. She was found, murdered, 4 days later dumped on the side of the road. SOURCES